Jack storiesJeff storiesEmbarrassmentsStories with a messageCrazy storiesFamily storiesTravel storiesThing stories


Zelda’s spiral
I get drawn into Zelda’s spiral…
What you can do with a hundred million dollars
What would you give for a hundred million dollars? And what would you do with it…?
An evening out of oddness
Somewhere there’s someone who will think you’re weird…
A wall across time
You cannot sit by the river of time…
Three Jorges
Brazilians are crazy…
more thicker than forget
My English teacher was the best teacher I ever had, precisely because he didn’t want to teach…
Special Relativity
My mother rejected the laws of nature and hated mathematics…
Jack’s thing
Jack tries to throw his car away…
Quitters never win
Smoking is a red pill. There’s no way back…
Terry hangs ten
Even lions are afraid of something…
Five forms of blackness
So what if I look white? I’m black…
Certain fission
My 10-year-old son questions his foreskin…
We’re all transparent in the dark
I hide up a tree so my mother can’t hit me…
The bird juggler
An old man does magic with pigeons…
Harley and David
Harley was a genius but his dog was an idiot…
The laxative wars
Jack and I battle it out with laxatives. I lose…
Manic Haven
Even though God didn’t like my grandmother’s smoking, He never let on…
Daylight robbery
Monkeys are people too…
The love of choice
According to my mother, a woman can have any man she wants…
Breaking and taking
Jack hates authority in uniform, even uniformed gnomes…
Casanova
Never watch your wife ride a stallion…
Scrumping the Big Apple
You have to steal to survive in New York…
Where there’s a will there’s a won’t
Jeff doesn’t want me to put THINKING on my time sheets…
Insert knob A into hole B
On-the-spot sex education doesn’t work…
Trumped-up
Jeff has taken over. We don’t know where we’re going but we’re on our way…
The time machine
Never let your nine-year-old son watch Back to the Future
Seattle by the Sea
America is a strange place…
Mr Fine
Jack adopts an old bulldog who is deeply weird and refuses to crap where you can see him…
The patience placebo
My father had near-infinite patience. He used it to cure every ill, but of course that rarely worked…
Sean the Sane
Crazy Sean exchanges a book at Dad’s Toys…
His Luckness
To succeed in life it’s not enough to be stupid…
The math of shape
Trouble at the post office…
Maybe Dick
Jeff meets his match…
The Kingdom of Magila
Some homeless people are less equal than others…
The capacity to forget
There are things that time won’t heal…
The balance of things
My father insisted on balance…not justice…
A bargain at any price
Jack buys a water filter, sort of…
Passaporto per favore
I get arrested at the Milan airport…
The Platinum Card
A Platinum frequent flyer card only gets you so far…
The toilet spray of embarrassment
Jeff takes me to a coffee shop with a trendy urinal…
Skull-bitten
I get bitten by a skull in Berlin…
The blood bank
Jefty Jeff reviews my overdraft…
Kuntz Life
Jack tries to insure an elephant…
The nappy rush
There’s a conspiracy at Huggies…
It’s my job
Trying to reason with airport staff doesn’t work…
Doc
My father didn’t mind to be called Mister, except by our doctor…
Double blind
Blind Trevor and blind Frank bump into one another…
Knitters Anonymous
My name is Eddie and I’m a knitter…
Jack++
Jack tries not to buy a chainsaw…
The one-lion cure for depression
Jack is darted with a sedative and flown to a town in Italy where they have a spare amphitheatre…
Nutty red stir-fry
Most recipes mention ingredients you don’t have or measurements you can’t understand…
What friends are for
More is less with social networking…
Five rules of public speaking
How to speak in public without giving a shit…
How to kill a mosquito
We’ve been killing mosquitoes ever since we’ve had hands. There’s a better way to do it…