Jack is my best friend. I’ve made him up. Jack is a lot like my real friend Jack, but real Jack has a beard. Jack doesn’t have a beard because I was too lazy to make one up. Because of that he isn’t as frightening as real Jack is.

I wanted to place a picture of real Jack here. If I had, real Jack would’ve killed me or fed me laxatives. Instead, I’ve placed a picture of someone who looks exactly like real Jack. Because real Jack would find this hard to believe I’ve blurred the face a little.